We said our good byes to baby Ethan today. What a beautiful service he had. His family did such a wonderful job explaining Ethan's journey and expressing the beautiful love they have for him.It brought back soooo many emotions. There were a lot of heart moms there. What a support system we all have. Heidi made a comment today that they have a whole new group of friends since they have been heart parents, and what a blessing this is. She is right. Heidi and Molly were the first moms I met in the hospital, and wow what a support system they were and still have been. They hooked me up with other moms that have lost babies. That was the best thing for me. Heidi A., (Jersey's mom) has been such a good venting post for me. I feel she understands me and I her soo well.I hope I will continue to give Heidi S., Heidi A., Molly, Melody, Liz, Holly and all the new heart moms I have just met and will meet down the road all the love and support they have shown me and my family. I met a few heart moms today that have been following Andie's blog and knew me from my pictures. That was so awesome. It was great to meet them. I hope we can all meet under different circumstances someday soon. I know all our Angel Babies are playing together right now.
A lot of people have been asking me about what to send Ethan's family and about his funeral arrangements. Heidi has updated Ethan's blog with ALL the information. The blog address is: crazyskids.blogspot.com. Thanks for ALL your love and support for this fabulous family.
Its hard for me to believe that our baby girl would be six months old today. Where has the time gone? Every time I see a little girl I wonder what or who Andie would look like. I wonder what she would be doing , how many teeth she would have, what foods she would like, and what phases she would be going through. Man, this completely sucks!!!! I just told Duane the other day, that I act everyday like I'm doing OK. I'm really not inside and don't think I ever will. Yes, I go on with life. Its the hurting inside that I'm talking about. Has it gotten easier? Yes and no. Yes, because you have no choice. No, because you have no choice. Confusing isn't it? You should put yourselves in our shoes. I know she knows we love her, think about her, talk to her and about her, and kiss her pictures everyday. Baby girl, I'm sure you are having a wonderful half birthday with all your angel friends.
We love and miss you tons.
Mommy, Daddy, your Brothers,your Sisters, and Family
Another thing I forgot to post about, was my friend Carla's daughter Caite did a chalk drawing of Andie for her art class. I want to take the time to thank you Caite and show everyone your great work. We love it and you.
Boy, people have complained about me not updating on Andie's blog, and now I'm over doing it for you all.
I have another Tennessee story to tell you. So after Andie passed away, I told the boys that if they see a butterfly or a lady bug that it is their sister letting them know she is with them. So while we were in Mississippi, Boston and my cousins kids were catching frogs. Then I here them all saying stop, don't. So I go to see what was wrong. Well Brogan is letting the frogs go. I asked him why he was doing this? He said it was Andie and they needed to let her go. I told him to stop and walked away. Then the kids came and told me he was doing it again. So I grabbed him and took him in the house for a good talking too. As were walking in the house he screams THATS MY SISTER!!!!!! So then we walked out to the car and had a little talk. I said your sister is not a frog. He said mom remember what you said. I told him if a frog was to jump by him out of the blue, it might be Andie. If you go searching for frogs, probably not. Then he said but mom frogs always turn into a prince and she is a princess. I told him I loved him, how sorry I was and we talked some more about it. I think we both understand better now.
We had a good anniversary day. I didn't know what to get Duane, as we all know he has everything and if he doesn't have it he gets it. So I thought the next best thing was to plan a fun filled surprise day for us/him. So I told him we had to leave at a certain time and away we went. We first went to ride go carts. It was a blast and boy did my husband kick my butt. Then we went and each had an hour massage. That was just what we needed after our intense go cart rides. Then we came home showered and went to have dinner at Flemmings Steak House. It was sooooo yummy, but boy were we full. It was a great day. Sweetie always know how much I love you. The only thing missing today was our Angel Girl. I know she was with us though. We know she always is. We both love and miss her more than words can say. Sweetheart, I want you to know I love and appreciate you more and more everyday. I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. I hope you had a great time. I love you. XOXO
I just want to take this time to wish my wonderful husband a Happy First Anniversary. As we all know we have had a pretty tough year. Our love has been tested in many ways. It just shows how strong our love is for each other. We are here for each other and holding on. I love you sweetie and will always love you. I'm going to keep on loving you forever and always, I promise you that!!!!!!! I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. We are going to have sooo much fun today and I cannot wait. I love you. XOXOXOXO
Andersen (Andie) Grace Paulus was born on February 19, 2009. She was fine at birth but became ill shortly after being home. After many tests, she was diagnosed with 'coarctation of the aorta'. This is her blog for updates, prayers, and words of encouragement. Thank you for being here.