One of those nights...

Boy tonight has been one of those nights. I think about Andie everyday, but tonight was a rough one. I kept replaying things in my head. Thinking of things we or the doctors could have done differently. Just wanting her in our house and in our arms. I know its always going to be this way.

I want to thank my husband for being so understanding and listening. I know its harder for him to talk and listen about it. I think this poem is perfect for dads in our situation. I got this off another blog from a family in our same situation. God Bless our Baby Angels who are playing together right now.

Tomorrow we are going to the hospital to deliver Andie's Legacy of Beanie Babies. We have around 450 right now. We will keep delivering them as long as they will take them. I'm nervous, but I know my Little Angel Peanut Girl will help me be strong. As God and everyone knows she is stronger than any of us to endure what she went through.



We will ALWAYS love and miss you Baby Girl. Thank you for your strength. You get that from your daddy. He gives me strength too. So I dedicate this poem to him for I know he is our rock and does the best he can to cope for ALL of us.
We love you daddy.

Love,
Mommy and Andie





A Father's Grief
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. Bill Cosby