Held by Natalie Grant - with Lyrics(Please turn off music at bottom of page first.) This song explains my feelings big time. Love Mommy XOXO

"Andie Girl"

Its so hard for me to believe that our Little Angel Peanut Girl recieved her angel wings 19 months ago today. I think about Andie everyday all day, but lately Im not sleeping good. All I do is wish she is with me in bed just holding her in my arms. I just want to see and hold her sooo bad. Dont get me wrong I love Brogan and Boston the same and I am sooo thankful that I have them here with me. I just wish they could play with their sister too.

On that note Boston is the one who usually gets up with me at the crack of dawn. He always hugs me I say good morning and he kisses my belly. So the other morning we did our normal morning ritual and after he kissed my belly, he asked me if Andie was ever going to come back? I told him maybe her spirit will come to us through a different baby. He said mom I want to have a baby brother next time. I said you do, why? Cause girls dont like to play war. (He is ALL about being in the Army right now). I said Oh really who was shooting you with the machine gun the other day? Oh yeah Sophia.Okay I want a sister again. Kids say the funniest things. Sophia is our adorable little neighbor who is two and I love her to death. Did I mention she has two older brothers too? Sophia is totally girlie until she plays with the boys, and believe me she can hold her own.We have all boys on this street but her. I think Andie would be so much like her.

The funny thing about Sophia is she is only two and everytime she plays with my phone or goes in the house and she can see a picture of Andie, she always points to her picture and says baby Andie. One day I was watching her and she pointed to Andie's picture on the wall and said baby Andie. I asked her where is baby Andie? She pointed to her picture and then pointed in the air and spun in a circle and said she is there. I cried and got goose bumps. They say little kids are very close to the spiritual side. I love her like she is my own. Thank you to her mom and dad for letting her spend so much time with me. I really believe Sophia helps me heal. Love you guys, thank you. XOXO

(This is a picture of Sophia. Isn't she a doll?)

Heart Poem... anonymous author

Heart Poem...

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that she is just going for a visit. She is still not swayed on this idea.

So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work". But the little angel is still a little scared.

She asks,"Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies,"Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When you are born, your mommy and daddy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart".

"Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to heaven, whenever that may be, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."